I did not know whether to call this “When I Have a Bad Day” or “When You Have a Bad Day”, but the title I chose to use tells you something. If you are where I was then you may feel that every day is a bad day. Indeed, for many years of my life, just about every day was a bad day. But now the title is “When I Have a Bad Day”, which infers that I must be having good days and it does. I have gone from “bad life” to “better life”. I have gone from “bad life” to “bad days”. I prayed to God for an end to my pain and suffering and I was answered. I am grateful for God’s answer to my plea. But I want more good days and I expect more good days.
Today was not a good day. Despite major improvements in my biochemistry and spiritual well-being, I am still in a life of strife. And strife seems to stick to me like flies to flypaper. Life has not been kind to me. I am immensely grateful for health and well-being of my wife and children. There are many millions of people out there who are living through so much poverty, violence, and physical diseases that I am sparred from enduring. But I still have situations that are not wrapped up. I still have a lot to improve upon in my life. I am still under duress mostly due to external factors as opposed to constant depression. But I do get depressed on bad days. And that depression seems to run straight toward the worst mental place to go. Luckily, it abates. Yours will abate too.
I do not dwell upon the notion of future bad days, but I do expect to have them, like all people do. But because I have Depression I have to take proactive action. I have to be prepared for bad days so I can try to prevent them from becoming torturous days. And I can’t always avoid that either. In Recovery International one of the spottings says “Expect frustration and disappointment every minute of the day and you won’t be disappointed.” Another one is: “I have the ability to withstand torture.” It’s true! We all do. Read Man’s Search for Meaning and you will see. It’s not a feel good book. I will go into Victor Frankl‘s Logotherapy in another post on a better day. There is much to be learned from it.
In the meantime take a look at this video: