I’m depressed. I’m lethargic so I can only get myself to use the tools that I have at my disposal that are the least amount of effort to use. Thinking right thoughts could instantly change things, but for every right thought that I produce there is a “but” to nullify it. This depression is different than my multi-year episodes. I am able to feel moments of happiness, clarity, and laughter. But they are way too few and far between. This depression is situational which then results in a chemical imbalance which doesn’t easily correct itself. I believe that even if all of my situational stuff fixed, I’d still be depressed for a while. I don’t generally bounce back so quickly.
It’s been like a roller coaster ride for my wife. One hour I’m great and the next I’m sad, lonely, angry, resentful, and filled with self-hatred and self-disgust. I’ve recently switched where I get my medication from. I used to get it locally at CVS and now I’m getting it throw Express Scripts. I wonder if the amounts of medication are the same? I should have them tested, but I’m too lethargic to check it out. Did you know that generic medications are permitted to have up to ten percent less of the a active ingredient than the brand named medications? Someone feel free to double check my percentage because I am writing this from memory, but even if it’s less it’s outrageous. The FDA is tho country doesn’t give a shit about the people it was put in place to protect. It’s all about money. It’s almost always about money, and that will eventually destroy us.