breakingdepression


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It’s Just Another Eve

People who are generally not happy with where they are in their lives often find that annual holidays like New Year’s Eve tend to trigger negative feelings like sadness, depression, grief, frustration, anger, etc.  These feelings may be the result of the grief due to the loss of a close […]

happy new year 2015

Service – The Key to Your Happiness

There is a lethargy, a true draining of vital life energy that prevents people with Depression from doing what they have to do for themselves. When I am in the pit of depression I sometimes feel like I can’t go downstairs and get something to eat. Often times I don’t and I go hungry. I can’t pick out my clothes. It’s just too hard. So I ware what I wore yesterday that I threw on the floor next to my bed. Sometimes I think that if the house caught fire I wouldn’t have the strength to get out. That’s how brutal Depression can be. It’s not living. It’s just existing. That’s not how life has to be.

I have found moments of strength when someone else was in need. In certain emergencies I’d rise to the occasion and crash after it did what needed to be done. In my sadness and longing to die I have counseled others back from the brink, and they had no idea how much pain I was in because I did not let them know. I was there for them and that gave me some sense of worth. Sometimes it even made me happy. The following video illustrates the power of service, the power of helping others even when you can’t help yourself. If you keep on doing it, little by little you will come alive again.


Suicide Prevention Awareness

Suicide Prevention Awareness

Did you know that September is “Suicide Prevention Awareness Month”?  I didn’t.  I just happened to stumble upon it when I went to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website to see how they defined various types of Depression and other mental illnesses for a post I was writing.  I’m too tired to even continue.  The government, the media, the healthcare community, Doctors, hospitals, universities, and advocates are hardly making a dent in informing the public about Depression and suicide prevention.

 


Grace

Beware, I’m going to use that three letter word that some people find more offensive than all of the four letter words, GOD!  If you have read my FAQ then you would know that I add the “GOD” tag to all posts where I mention “God”, “The Creator”, “The Source”, “Source Energy”, “Shiva”, “Allah” “El Shaddai”, “Adanoi”, “YHWH”, “Yahweh”, “Jehovah”, or any other number of names given to the Creator by various religions.  I read the Bible at least four times during those years and beyond and I learned new things each time I read it, and it helped me get through. Do I believe everything I read?  Not exactly.  The Bible is sometimes literal, sometimes, mythical, sometimes parable, and the same verses can be interpreted different ways, so this learning may not result in “knowing”.  It may nearly result in “belief”.  Either way it can be beneficial because what we believe shapes how we interpret our existence and everything in it and what we think my lie beyond.

If you believe in “a higher power” then that is your right and I respect that.  I nor anyone else has the right to judge you.  If you choose to not believe in “a higher power” then that is your right and I respect that, and again I nor anyone else has the right to judge you.  So I would appreciate it if you would permit me to have my belief and write about how it has helped me because perhaps there is a chance it will help you.  If you think, “no way” then there is no reason for you to read this page any further because it has the “GOD” tag.

I can tell you that from my experience, knowledge, and perception I KNOW that God exists. This business that people have saying “my God” and “your God” is a bunch of nonsense.  Every religion likes to claim their own God and all of the monotheistic religions say there is only one God.  And everyone seems to have different names for God so they all fight about it, go to war about it, and slaughter people about it.  Not very Holy behavior.  But all of these religions have a word that is common to all of them, and that word is “God”.  So what’s the problem? Please don’t answer that.  It is a rhetorical question.  I will not argue.

AA and all 12 Step programs talk about the importance of admitting that you are not capable of beating your addiction alone and they therefor ask that you give this up to a “Higher Power” as you choose to define that.  At the very least, a “higher power” refers to something greater than yourself, or in other words, Grace.

I can tell you that my belief in God helped my through six years of hell.  I did not “walk through the valley of the shadow of death”, I lived there.  For six miserable years non-stop I lived there.  I cried out to God and nothing happened.  And I cried out some more and nothing happened.  And then I cried out to God some more and something did happen, and it was miraculous.  It was Grace!  But it didn’t last.  But if I experienced it once, then I know I could experience it again somehow, someday.

In 2011 I found Sadhguru Jaggie Vasudev, a mystic guru from India who was not your average guru.  The dude had a Hummer, a dirt bike, he flies a helicopter, and he does some crazy amazing energy stuff that I won’t get into right now, but I can tell you that millions of people pay attention to him because I is constantly and certainly in touch with Grace, and I found myself on a spiritual path.  The difference between a religion and a spirituality is simply that through religion you learn sets of beliefs and ideologies and accept them as fact.  On the spiritual path you keep your accept nothing as fact until you experience it.  This requires an open mind.  As I have said before, “To know is that I do not know”, and attitude leaves me open to everything.  So I have had experiences that have led me to KNOW, not to believe, but KNOW that God exists.  And that knowledge leaves me open to experience Grace.  So what is Grace?  I’ll let the guru explain it to you:


Mindless Entertainment

For quite a while during my last bout of major depression which also contained a lot of anxiety I was unable to watch television without getting thrown off. Everything was either too violent or too stupid.  When one has a mind that doesn’t shut up one approach is to drown […]


Trying to Get Back to Work

Since coming out of a major depression which was then followed by several events which mad it practically impossible for me to work, I am now at the point where I know I must work or I will fall back into depression. I’ve been on Social Security Disability insurance and […]


Picture of someone in physical pain

Your Body Is Talking To You

I have friend who has been dealing with sciatica for many months. He is as Type-A personality who had a father that to him was a mountain of a man. I find that most boys who have good relationships with their fathers usually want to be just like them in […]


“Release Meditation Technique”

The following video is a mantra (sound) based meditation technique called the Release Meditation Technique by Brendon Burchard. It is practiced by listening to a particular soundtrack and chanting a particular mantra (sound) which is the word “Release”. In similar fashion to Transcendential Meditation (TM) the mantra can be chanted aloud getting softer and softer until the mantra is only repeated silently in the mind. But Unlike TM in which one is assigned one’s own personal mantra upon initiation, this mantra “Release” used by all who practice this meditation. I found the music to be extremely relaxing and conducive to getting into a meditative state, and it would probably work wonderfully with any other mantra that one might wish to use. You can download the background soundtrack for free from iTunes or SoundCloud.


The Mentor’s Channel is offering a FREE 21 Day Meditation Course with OSHO starting today. Meditation is one of the best tools available for quieting the mind that tortures us with it’s incessant negative chatter.

FREE OSHO Meditation

 

if the mind is not distracted or stilled it is constantly producing sad and angry thoughts about the past, or fearful and worrisome thought about the future. Meditation, which comes in numerous type and styles can offer you peace and clarity.  At the very least, meditation can provide relaxation.  If you haven’t meditated before, or you have tried other forms of meditation and did not find them effective then I urge you then give OSHO – A Course in Meditation a try today.

 


The bridge between suicide and life

For many years Sergeant Kevin Briggs had a dark, unusual, at times strangely rewarding job: He patrolled the southern end of San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, a popular site for suicide attempts. In a sobering, deeply personal talk Briggs shares stories from those he’s spoken — and listened — to standing on the edge of life. He gives a powerful piece of advice to those with loved ones who might be contemplating suicide.


“Who You Are”

You are beautiful, you are smart, you are funny, you are kind, your unique

You are worthy of LOVE and AFFECTION, you are never too much and you are always enough

you are precious, you are a Diamond a Rose a Pearl, the most stunning of all God‘s Creations

YOU are worth more than you can ever imagine

your worth more than the numbers on a scale or the hair product you use or the shoes you wear

more than how many girls wish they were you or how many guys wish they had you

more than the price tags on your clothes or the percentage on the top of your math test

or even the number of followers you have on Twitter

Your Worth surpasses ALL EARTHLY THINGS because in the eyes of the Lord God, you are LOVED

You are Worth dying for, regardless of Who YOU think You are

whether you model in a magazine or you model pottery with grandma

whether your on the Hot list or the Not list, whether your head cheerleader or a high school drop out

whether your miss popular or you never had ANYONE you can call a FRIEND

whether you love yourself or love your life or you cant stand to look in the mirror

and you feel as if everything in your life is falling apart

whether your such a winner or you feel like the worlds biggest failure

regardless of who you think you are the reality is You Deserve Someone who will give up their LIFE for you

because YOU are POWERFUL and STRONG and CAPABLE

Read about the WOMEN in the BIBLE, ESTHER, RUTH, MARTHA, MARY

these women Changed the world FOREVER

and inside of you EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU is a women with that same POWER

and that same STRENGTH and that SAME WORLD CHANGING CAPABILITY

and your responsibility is to find that women and SET THAT WOMEN FREE

This is WHO YOU ARE

and any voices in your mind try to tell you differently are from the ENEMY

and the next time you hear that voice you say NOT ME SATAN I am the Daughter of the LIVING GOD

CHERISHED, LOVED AND ADORED ABOVE ALL THINGS BY THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS

FOR THE GLORY OF ALL THINGS

I AM AWESOME

PLEASE DON’T YOU FORGET IT

Jon Jorgenson


I’m depressed.  I’m lethargic so I can only get myself to use the tools that I have at my disposal that are the least amount of effort to use.  Thinking right thoughts could instantly change things, but for every right thought that I produce there is a “but” to nullify it.  This depression is different than my multi-year episodes.  I am able to feel moments of happiness, clarity, and laughter.  But they are way too few and far between.  This depression is situational which then results in a chemical imbalance which doesn’t easily correct itself.  I believe that even if all of my situational stuff fixed, I’d still be depressed for a while.  I don’t generally bounce back so quickly.

It’s been like a roller coaster ride for my wife.  One hour I’m great and the next I’m sad, lonely, angry, resentful, and filled with self-hatred and self-disgust.  I’ve recently switched where I get my medication from.  I used to get it locally at CVS and now I’m getting it throw Express Scripts.  I wonder if the amounts of medication are the same?  I should have them tested, but I’m too lethargic to check it out.  Did you know that generic medications are permitted to have up to ten percent less of the a active ingredient than the brand named medications?  Someone feel free to double check my percentage because I am writing this from memory, but even if it’s less it’s outrageous.  The FDA is tho country doesn’t give a shit about the people it was put in place to protect.  It’s all about money.  It’s almost always about money, and that will eventually destroy us.


FREE 21 Day Meditation – “Finding Your Flow”

Take advantage of this FREE 21-day online meditation program called “Finding Your Flow” at the Chopra Center which is sponsored by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Deepak Chopra. This meditation program is being offered for FREE starting (started) April 14th, 2014 and it runs for 21 days.  Each day’s session opens on its […]


People care about you.

I’ve Been Depressed – I’m working on it.

I have been depressed.  I’ve been pushing myself to go out, to answer the phone, to shower, to read, to meditate, to walk, to stay engaged somehow.  I will not complain.  Complaining is useless.  I’ve been using the tools I have written about in this blog and other that I haven’t written about yet.  So for now watch this:

 


We Create Our Reality – Really!

When I was a child around the age of eight after my parents had divorced we spent more time in my father’s car each week because we lived with my mother during the week and my father during the weekends.  I’m sure that it was very difficult time for him. […]


I’ve Posted Nothing and I Can’t Shut Up!

Over the last several week I’ve written several posts but have not published them either because I didn’t think that they’d be helpful to others or because I didn’t finish them.  I started to write about this yesterday and the same thing happened.  I didn’t finish the post so I […]