Over the last several week I’ve written several posts but have not published them either because I didn’t think that they’d be helpful to others or because I didn’t finish them. I started to write about this yesterday and the same thing happened. I didn’t finish the post so I didn’t post it. Just in the last hour I’ve done it again two more times. I’ve posted nothing and I can’t shut up!
I start my posts one place and they either take me into the subject more deeply or they connect with other subjects I believe are healthier things to write about. Those interest me more because my goal here is to help others. Many of the posts I haven’t published over the last few weeks stem from feelings of depression, anger, and frustration so they often start off from a negative space and work themselves into a message that is more healthy and profound. That’s all well and good but I’m a perfectionist, with is not necessarily a good thing because then I want to spend more time writing the post, trying to make it read well, properly cite thoughts that are not my own, and research and post links, videos, etc. that will lead you to more in-depth material on the subject so that it serves the healthy purpose of breaking depression or making life more enjoyable. Now if you’re a regular reader of this blog then you’re probably thinking “Perfectionist? Dude, your spelling sucks, and you often have typos!” And you’re right. My excuse is “I have ADD and I therefore hate maintenance and detail work that I find redundant and boring”. That kind of work saps my energy and makes me depressed. And besides, that’s what editors are for, and I don’t have the money to pay an editor so forget that”. So please excuse me as I continue write posts with spelling and typos. As long as the message isn’t lost, I don’t give a shit.
Also, please excuse me for writing more shorter posts because they are often the subjects that I start with, but then morph into something deeper and more profound so I just stop where I am, tidy it up a bit, and move on. But instead of just leaving them as drafts I’m going to post them. I’ll try categorize my posts in a way that will give you more control over what you wish to read and what you don’t. I have already done this with posts I call “rants”, which is generally me bitching about something, as opposed to just writing about a healthy subject of practice. I’m letting myself off the hook because this is a blog, not a book. It doesn’t make sense for me to spend so much time writing what are more like journal entries, which is pretty much what blogs started out as. I find that this site is more of a combination of a blog and a website, but these are just semantics. It is what it is. That’s the truth.