Inspiration and Exasspiration

I watch a lot of inspirational videos, especially when I am feeling down, low, frustrated, old, and depressed.  If I am feeling well and I have energy, then I find them exciting and inspiring.  But if I am feeling lethargic and downcast then they make help and hurt at the same time.  They help because they remind me that all things are possible; that it’s never too late; that dreams can still come true.  And at the same time my mind says: “Yes, all things are possible.  The human spirit has incredible power.  People of all ages do amazing fetes every day.  They get knocked down and they get back up.  They use their will and/or their faith and they surmount tremendous obstacles both physical and psychological; man made and natural.  But what about me?”

What about me?  I am almost 50 years old.  I am overweight and tired.  I have chronic ailments that no doubt are manifested because of my diet, lifestyle, and depression.  So what will I do?  Where has my hope and faith gone?  Where has my passion gone?  Whew is the promise of my :victory?

Sometimes the videos make me feel angry.  I think, “You say ‘never give up’, ‘follow your dreams’, ‘I am that bold and fearless person, and I will be all of these days until my days are done’.  And I think “How can you say such a thing?   You’ve obviously never suffered from Depression.”  “You have no idea what its like to be depressed and to experience that for weeks, months, and years without reprieve.”  “I have no idea how I will be an hour from now, let alone greater spans of time.”

This illness called Depression like many other illnesses, can rob you of your physical vitality, but it also robs you of your psychological and spiritual vitality; and it does so over and over again across great spans of time.  And after a while you lose faith.  You lose that ability to truly believe that you can do anything because it (depression) is always there in the shadows, lying in wait for you to step out into the light and try something bold again.

But totally giving up is not an option.  Somehow there still remains the tiniest hope that I will rise again.  This tiny hope must be cared for.  It must be nurtured.  It must be acknowledged and kindled.  This is where I must focus my attention.  This is what is left of Me.  So I still watch the inspirational and motivational videos.  If i am feeling down i concentrate on the video and let it pull me in as best as my mind will allow.  I just try to pay attention and not to do so from a “me perspective”.  Depression is a selfish and somewhat narcissistic illness.  It makes me concentrate on myself and compare everyone to myself, and that is a very unhealthy thing to do so I must pull myself out of that line of thought as soon as it arises.

When I am feeling well, I use these inspirational and motivational videos to  cultivate a sense of excitement and possibility.  They help to boost my mood and inspire me to take action.  Action, physical action is a key word for those of us with Depression.  Lethargy breads mor lethargy and we fall into a vicious cycle of lethargy producing thoughts of lethargy, which in turn produce lethargic behavior such leads back to lethargy; and the cycle continues until you take action.  But the same holds true for physical action.  Taking physical action leads to both  psychological and physiological changes responses in your body which produce energy which can be used for mor action so you can keep this positive energetic cycle going.  Just remember to ride this wave for as long as it lasts.

There is a spotting Recovery Inc. that helps me to take that first step of physical action: “The will of the muscles overcomes the defeatist babble of the brain”.  Just say this this spotting (mantra) to yourself a few times and then make a move.  Do the biggest action that you can at that point in time and do not make a judgement about it.    For many of us in depressed states of mind or first action might be getting out of bed and walking around the room.  So you start from there and slowly and steadily increase the action each time you do it.  And ever time you “use the will of your muscles to overcome the defeatist babble of the brain” you endorse yourself for that victory.  You must acknowledge and verbally express to yourself that you overcame you depression and lethargy by your own choice, your own willpower, and the simple (but not always easy) action of moving your muscles.  And you must also never judge, trivialize, or degrade yourself for trying whether it worked out well or not.  Another Recovery spotting is “Drop the judgement for the sake of your own mental health”.  You don’t judge yourself and you don’t judge others.  I will be posting about Recovery Inc. soon because it is one of the most highly effective systems that I’ve every used to break depression, and it is simple to use in almost any situation possible.  But for now, this link here are a few of my favorite inspirational videos: